My Top 5 Kitchen OBSESSIONS!!!!!

Letting go of the impossible

Letting go……. In the last two years I have cancelled over 7 trips for work. I have broken plans with friends last minute. Forgotten to check my messages or respond back to texts for weeks at a time. I have neglected my marriage. I rarely am by myself and when I am so anxious it can bring on an anxiety attack in minutes. Its become really bad. Mostly I have forgotten who I am outside of motherhood of my two girls. I cram my days full of therapies, school meetings, phone calls with insurance companies, errands for the household, I have a job pouring into other mothers and running an online business. the latter usually get my the bottom of my cup though. they have been put on the backburner while I have tended to our hard seasons. I am sure some are thinking but Varrick seems so good lately. and you are right she is doing so well. better than I could have dreamed of all the nights we spent in hospital. See they have flip flopped. as Varricks hard season winded down beca...

I am a happy person that is depressed.

These words that I will share with you are from the depths of my soul, so I ask you to be kind. I ask for you simply move on if you cannot be supportive. Because these words I am sharing with you, are not for me, they are for a friend that is struggling with the stigma that comes with this topic. My name is Kendra and I take anti depressants. Funny story, they don’t make you not depressed, they don’t take away the pain. They provide me clarity. Some balance in the tornado of my life. They allow me to look at our life objectively. the day I went to the doctors I didn’t go for that reason. I convinced myself I was fine. That I was managing just fine. I went to ask for help because my wellness journey was stalled. I have been unable to lose a pound since having Varrick. If I did see a dip in the scale, it would shoot up 8-10 pounds the next few days. I was working out every day, eating according to my meal plan. I was following the directions but the recipe was still turning out ...

today i wasn't there.

Today it hit me. I had to call into my girls doctors appointment. I have been at every single appointment. I fought their fights when they had no voice. I have taken notes, asked the questions, I have been there. And today I wasnt. As soon as I hung up the phone I burst into tears. Being a mom is effing hard. If you are a stay at home mom you are shamed for not working. I'f you are a working mom you are shamed for not being home. There is not happy medium. Motherhood is hard no matter what your situation. No matter how active a mother you are, you will miss something. It's the weight we let that guilt have, that will impact us going forward. Tonight as I reflect, I know that missing one appointment doesnt define me as a mom or a person. It's how i raise them that matters. It's how they act when i am not around. So tonight as you lay your head down, remind yourself, we all do the best we can with what we have, and that is enough. And so are...

Just Enough Crunch

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