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Showing posts from 2019

Sitting in the calm, after a storm.

Finding who you are outside of parenthood, yet still in your marriage, yet still an individual, and yet still not knowing who you are. is harder than it is to make sense of that statement. We have been exploring something in couples counseling about desire and how it's hard to be desired when your proximity is so close. Add parents of 2 children under the age of 6 life is a lot.  as we prepare to bring them both back to school, oh gosh I'm crying just writing this, it's a whole new season. The up all night the hospital stays, the being without each other all the time, is less frequent and being in the calm is more. For us, we know how to do marriage in the chaos. We know how did your marriage in the hospital. We know how to do marriage in the, oh my God how are we gonna get through this. the calm........  This is where we struggle. If you're new to this page you might not know that Ryan and I met in were moved in within 3 weeks. we loved each other so fier

Letting go of the impossible

Letting go……. In the last two years I have cancelled over 7 trips for work. I have broken plans with friends last minute. Forgotten to check my messages or respond back to texts for weeks at a time. I have neglected my marriage. I rarely am by myself and when I am so anxious it can bring on an anxiety attack in minutes. Its become really bad. Mostly I have forgotten who I am outside of motherhood of my two girls. I cram my days full of therapies, school meetings, phone calls with insurance companies, errands for the household, I have a job pouring into other mothers and running an online business. the latter usually get my the bottom of my cup though. they have been put on the backburner while I have tended to our hard seasons. I am sure some are thinking but Varrick seems so good lately. and you are right she is doing so well. better than I could have dreamed of all the nights we spent in hospital. See they have flip flopped. as Varricks hard season winded down beca