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quick fixes.

Today I got a glimpse at what life used to feel like.
By 7am I felt my blood boiling. A toddler that speaks fluent whine and 4.5 yo who has the sas of me as a teenager, I became quickly overwhelmed. As I felt the anger built up I refocused my mind, i redirected the whiner and helped the 4.5 yo solve her problem of her clothing being all disgusting.... and surprisingly we were at breakfast 30 minutes early.
I felt so amazing. Like I beat the system, I had that moment of mom joy. Got groceriesand home by noon, all to have everything crumble.
As I walked in the door I felt my face swelling and quickly realized I was in a full blown allergic reaction to God knows what. Popped some benadryl all to realize a) its day time and b) my children hate naps.
So there I was helpless and so tired my eyes burned. I could do nothing but sit on the couch and succumb to the benadryl drowsiness. When I opened my eyes I realized my house had been trashed and my basement was full of 2 inches of sewage.
It was in that moment that I realized this is how I used to feel everyday. Tired, overwhelmed, and drowning in a shits storm. And nothing could motivate me. I would see everything crumbling but I had no ambition. No drive to change. So I chose to be numb.
Then ketones came into my life, and realized how that life didnt need to feel that awful. That you could find joy in the everyday madness. It's not about creating a life about perfection. it's just about doing one thing each day for your body.
One simple thing.
I know quick fixes are shamed all over social media. People say they dont work. They say people that take them are bound for failure because they are only fixing the symptoms not the problems.
But you see that magic sitting in sun. That's the "quick fix" that has changed my life. It has nothing to do with weight loss, although that has been a side effect, it has everything to do with, getting me out of the period of numbness.
It's my light in this crazy storm.
Tonight I have laughed in our chaos and found the joy in even the $hite$t situation.


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